Conversion

In the dream,  

and maybe in waking life, 

he covers my eyes 

and asks me to walk 

forward in faith.  

I do so,  

sensing the ocean 

is near. 

Finally I remove his hands

and say, 

"Not for lack of faith, 

but because I want 

to see."  

We were on craggy bluff 

high above restless waves - 

not a smooth place in sight.  

I wonder how this can be 

walked at all.  

  

Last night 

the dream 
was of  a large still lake

surrounded by trees.  

It is almost completely dark
 but there is enough light 

to take in the beauty. 

Until he speaks, 

there are no sounds, 

not even the rustling of leaves 

or the lapping of water at the shore.  

All I hear is, 

"You should be with me."  

    

I am still slowly making my way through Julian's Gospel by Veronica Mary Rolf.  I have just completed the section where Julian is on her deathbed and she is experiencing graphic revelations about Christ's crucifixion.  A difficult read, but as painful as these revelations are, and as close to death as Jesus comes, he does not die, but rather continues to not only accept his suffering, he does so in joy.  She does not take her eyes off of him for a moment, even when tempted to do so, and addresses the eternal living Christ as "my heaven (352). "  In that moment, she accepts staying with Jesus in her lifetime, in both "wele and woe," in the joys and the sorrows, and knows only bliss.  Despite her coming so close to dying, it was not yet time for her to die. There was more to be revealed to and through her.     

  

This is no doubt true for you and me as well.  There is more to be revealed.