Through the work of Rabbi Yael Levy, I have discovered the ancient Jewish tradition of Counting of the Omer that takes place in the 49 days between Passover and Shavuot (the giving of the Torah). Since I am not from the Jewish tradition, there is much that I am probably missing, but I understand that the tradition is based upon the instructions given in Leviticus 23:15-16:
“You shall count seven full weeks from the day after the Sabbath, from the day that you brought the sheaf of the wave offering. You shall count fifty days to the day after the seventh Sabbath. Then you shall present a grain offering of new grain to the Lord."
As I write this, Day 5 is just concluding. The meditation that Rabbi Levy wrote in her book of devotions, Journey through the Wilderness, has stayed with me through the day: Being where we are rather than where we think we should be or where we wish we could be...
She then goes on to quote her translation/rendition of Psalm 5:8. I know all too well the ego's struggle with this notion of laying ourselves down down in awe. I have wrestled with it all my life, so I have constantly bounced between fear,recklessness, and feigned apathy. Perhaps I have come to Mendocino, this land of flowers, ocean, and wind to be reminded that it is really time to lay that all aside. Because ultimately, all we have to offer God is our selves. This Jesus knew. The new grain just might be a human coming without an agenda or a wish list, but rather one yearning to simply be with God.
In your abundant chesed (love), I will enter your house. I will lay myself down in awe.