Friday, May 29, 2020

We Are One

At the beginning of year 2020, it was my prayer that this would be a year of clear vision.  As painful as it is right now, I believe this is happening.  May we learn and grow from this time when we are being reminded we are not separate, but one.  
All of us.  We are One.   

  
The Lord's instruction is perfect, 
reviving one's very being. 
The Lord's laws are faithful, 
making naive people wise.  
The Lord's regulations are right ,
gladdening the heart.  
The Lord's commands are pure, 
giving light to the eyes.     

Let the words of my mouth
    and the meditations of my heart
    be pleasing to you,
    Lord, my rock and my redeemer.    


Psalm 19:7-8, 14   



    
 
   
photograph:  San Leandro, May 2020 

Friday, May 22, 2020

Beans and Cornbread

During this time of sheltering, I have returned to one of my favorite books on baking, Beard on Bread by James Beard, copyright 1973. On the cover is a faded sticker that reads $2.50. I know that was the price when it was new because that hefty price was also imprinted on the corner of the front cover.  It is no longer in good condition, partly because paperbacks generally do not age well, but mostly because it is loved.   While I do not remember buying this book, I do remember buying James Beard's Theory and Practice of Good Cooking, copyright 1977.  Around that time, I was living in a one room flat in a dilapidated house in San Francisco that fortunately was close to a very good market. Just a little further on up the street was a small store that specialized in kitchen items.  I bought Beard's book, a good paring knife, and a few pieces of dinnerware that were stamped "Made in Italy" on the back.  I felt liberated as I set out to learn to cook.   
     
A few nights ago I baked again from the bread book.  I  finally tried a recipe entitled "Helen Evans Brown's Corn Chili Bread". I think the only reason I had never tried this recipe before is because when I hunger for cornbread with green chilies and cheese, I have always relied on a tattered recipe for "Spanish Corn Bread" from my mother's recipe box. Both her plain cornbread and the so-called Spanish version call for equal parts cornmeal and flour.  There is no flour mentioned in Brown's bread. However,  I felt courageous because I knew I had a good quality stone ground cornmeal on hand, and I had just cooked a pot of Jacob's Cattle beans, an heirloom bean from Llano Seco in Butte County, California.

In his introduction to Brown's recipe, Beard wrote, "The late Helen Evan Brown was a specialist in California's traditional foods."  Intrigued, I went to Amazon Smile but the hardback copies of Brown's books were priced at over $100.  I ordered a used paperback version, which will probably be in about the same questionable shape as my bread book.  He also added: "It is one of my oldest bread recipes, and one of my very favorites."  That seems to be the way with cornbread and other food. We are generally loyal to trusted recipes and to the people who have passed them on. 
 
The chili part of the recipe was  a 4 oz. can of green chilies (Beard and probably Brown spelled it chilis).  A dear friend, with whom I shared many meals,  grew up in New Mexico. She  always made it known that she abhorred canned chilies.  However, those small blue, yellow, and green cans of diced, and even whole chilies are the food of my childhood, and I always try to keep some in my pantry. At the beginning of the shelter in place, I realized I did not have any. I felt foolish, but was relieved to see them in the markets. I did veer from the recipe twice. She called for finely diced cheese.  I had a hard time imagining finely dicing cheese, so I pulled out the old box grater. Also, I did not have any of the fresh corn she called for, but I did have a can of unsalted corn and I used part of that. Even with these substitutions, the bread was delicious.       
   
In his book, The Art of LivingThich Nhat Hanh writes, "When we are able to transform our suffering, we do so not only for ourselves but also for all of our ancestors and descendants (170)." I agree with him that much of our suffering is passed on from generation to generation.  Sometimes as I bake or cook, I do have a sense of my cooking ancestors (I count my friend who did not like canned chilies among them as she passed a few years ago) joining me, and I find comfort in remembering them.  Am I healing them as I heal myself?  Perhaps.  It is a lovely thought because I believe that generally, we do not heal in isolation, and healing, like our souls,  is ongoing.  I think each of us owes it to the world to be as healthy as we can be.  Not in a fanatical, trying to look like we are 20 years old, never been a sick a day in our life kind of way, but in a wholesome way that helps us to live in balance with ourselves and all of life. We are, after all, related.    
 
As Tyler ate beans and cornbread that evening he said, "This is such a Sue Ann meal."  Perhaps he, too, found some healing and connection in these times.   I hope so. May you as well.    
  
Blessings, 
Rev. Sue Ann
  
  
The photograph includes the one remaining plate from that purchase decades ago.   I almost sold it at a yard sale last year, but I just could not give it up.   Cornbread made without flour does not rise as high as one made with some flour, but the texture is very satisfying.   I really must recommend using stone-ground cornmeal if you can possibly find it.  
     
   



Saturday, May 16, 2020

Tending

Today, Tyler, Jack and I took a drive to Castle Rock in Walnut Creek. The park is part of the East Bay Regional Park system.  Much of the park is closed, but we were able to hike a couple of miles.  Others were out as well, but social distancing was possible, and much easier than at the grocery store.  It was warm, but a gentle cool breeze was blowing.  I have fallen in love with the California Buckeye and its sweetly scented flowers.  A butterfly was visiting this tree, but it proved to be elusive so there is no picture of it. Nonetheless, these trees beckon bees, butterflies, and us to spend some time with them.   

No one is climbing these rock formations now.  It is peregrine falcon breeding season so the area is off limits.  How handy it would have been to have a pair of binoculars, but alas, they were sitting in a drawer back home.  However, it was refreshing to gaze at these formations and to ponder baby falcons hatching.   I came away believing that all young deserve time to be tended to, and the old deserve time just to be.  There is plenty of time in between to tend to what needs to be done.    
   
We then came home, cooked hamburgers, and took naps.  A beautiful Saturday.  It is quiet here.  Jack's nap continues (he is older now and not as spry as he once was),  and Tyler is playing guitar. I am feeling quite lazy, but I do need to do some laundry and spend some time with scripture in preparation for Sunday.      
 
Stay well, everyone, and take some time to linger outside if you can.  There is healing to be found there.      
 
Blessings, 
 Sue Ann       
 





Friday, May 15, 2020

Good Friday Morning

"If you want to heal your loneliness, you first have to learn how to heal yourself, be there for yourself, and cultivate your own inner garden of love, acceptance, and understanding."  
 
Thich Nhat Hahn, The Art of Living     
 
photograph:  San Leandro, May, 2020     
 
     

     

Wednesday, May 13, 2020

Green Pastures

This entry was originally posted in 2016 and came up on Facebook today. I do not remember the original title, and it took me awhile to remember these good people and the room we were in. If the space sounds crowded, I assure it was.   

I think Tom has been blind from birth. He tells me he has a sister in the area, but I have never met her. I know he has lived in a convalescent hospital for over six years because this is how long I have known him. I am sure he is younger than I. Today, when the pianist and I began our service, there were over 60 residents in attendance. In the middle of the congregation sat Tom.
After the service, as I moved around the sixty or more wheelchairs to check in with people one more time, I hear Tom calling my name. He is sitting three rows back. It will take me a little while to reach him.
"Tom, I hear you. I will be there in just a minute."
"Thank you," he replies. He waits. I think he often waits.
" Tom, it is Pastor Sue Ann. I am here. You have a question?"
"Yes. About Psalm 23. What does it mean: The Lord is my shepherd. I shall not want."?
I did not read Psalm 23 to the congregation today, but I have in the past. I did, however, read from John 10 about The Good Shepherd.
"I think it means that not matter what, we know God is with us, so we know we have enough; even more than enough. We are okay. We are in good hands."
Tom pauses for, I think, close to a minute. It is my turn to wait. He then says, "I am willing to believe that, Pastor Sue Ann."
Visits to this community always has it challenges. Yet, Tom's (and others') willingness to believe is always moving.
Then there is Eileen. Gently, but but steadily she has refused communion for the same six plus years that Tom has been willing to accept. However, today, when I asked her the question, one more time, "Would you like communion?", she gently replied, "Yes, I think I would."
I am led to green pastures.   
   
photograph:  Oyster Bay Regional Park, San Leandro, May 2020 
An oddly beautiful park between San Leandro and the Oakland Airport 


Possibilities

I am hearing "Be not afraid" quoted quite often these days, and certainly this assurance is what humans have been hearing from angels and prophets, including Jesus, for centuries. It is comforting. When I hear this encouragement, it often leads me reflect on The Beatitudes. They, too, can be comforting in times of loss and struggle because the inherent message in the sermon is that things change.  Luke actually brought this home rather strongly in Luke 6:20-26. In addition to the comfort of knowing that those who hunger will be filled and those who mourn will laugh, he warns that if you are rich, you have already received your consolation, as if to say that your riches are already in the past.  If you are full, you will know hunger.  If you are laughing now, you will know sorrow.  What I hear is the encouragement to  hold on to neither what we might be tempted to call our blessings nor what we might call our struggles.   Hold lightly, because ultimately, there is nothing to hold on to.  Our physical bodies, our minds, our treasures, our gains and our losses are impermanent because this life is change.  This should not be considered dreary news, but rather offers us liberation, and hopefully leads us to generosity.  Once we release our grasping, our hearts are free to experience what Thich Nhat Hanh describes as "the heart of reality". Others would call this reality God.  I tend to call this reality Love.  I think this reality is the "different" peace that Jesus said he offers (John 14:27).
 
In his book, The Art of Living by Thich Nhat Hanh describes impermanence in this way: 

"Impermanence is something wonderful. If things were not impermanent, life would not be possible. A seed could never become a plant of corn; the child couldn't grow into a young adult; there could never be healing and transformation; we could never realize our dreams. So impermanence is very important for life. Thanks to impermanence, everything is possible (116)."  
   
Yes, even peace.  Let us go with open minds and hearts.   

  

Friday, May 8, 2020

Vision

Yesterday, I washed my car.  We have two large trees in front of our house and at times they get messy. Since my car now often sits in the driveway for days without being moved, it slowly gets covered by tree debris and dust.  Normally, I would take my car to the local car wash, a family owned business that has been in the neighborhood since the 50s.  I enjoy sitting on the bench and watching the comings and goings of the customers and the people who work there.  Sometimes I read, but usually I am content just to sit in the experience.  However, the car wash is closed now, so I brought out the bucket, hose, and brush and washed it myself. A very different experience, but not unpleasant. I look forward to being able to see clearly out my back window when I drive to the produce market.

Supporting family owned businesses and food producers is important to me,  and I see this as a spiritual practice.  Humans typically do better when we are in relationship with one another, preferably not with masks on, but that is a precaution we must now take. Zoom is proving to be helpful in many ways, but one of its most important offerings  is that the technology allows us to see one another's faces.  We are in a time of tremendous change and upheaval.  I am hopeful for the future, but like most people,  I have concerns as well.   One of the lessons we are learning (or perhaps relearning) is that we are connected to one another in deep and far reaching ways. When there is a break or tear in these connections, the rending of our social garment can spread far. The same is true for the environment. Yet, we also see that both can be healed.      

I find myself thinking about the Apostle Paul.  I believe he, too, missed being with those he cared about. He travelled great distances, and was often detained by imprisonment or house arrest. Yet, he maintained relationships with prayer and writing letters. We are doing much the same thing. While there have been technological advances in how we can reach out, I do not think our basic need for relationships has changed.  We need that sense of connection with one another and with our own divine souls. This allows us to experience the Christ among us and provides the stability we need for a creative and generous life.  I pray we always seek those connections in healthy, loving ways.  In Romans 8:38-39 Paul wrote, "I am convinced that nothing can separate us from God’s love in Christ Jesus our Lord: not death or life, not angels or rulers, not present things or future things, not powers or height or depth, or any other thing that is created."  An unwavering truth is that we eternally belong to God and to one another.  Let us trust and accept that, and go forward in love.     
 
Shop local when you can.  A neighbor may be depending on you.     
  
Photograph was taken at Villa Maria del Mar in Santa Cruz a few years ago.  I hold those good sisters and their beloved staff in my prayers.  
   



Wednesday, May 6, 2020

The Invitation

 "When we stop complaining, we will be in paradise."  
Kabir Helminski     
 
"Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me."
Revelation 3:20   

  
When I came across the quote by Kabir Helminski, I immediately thought of the passage from Revelation.  If we can stop our mental chatter, maybe we can hear Christ quietly knocking, wanting to share an invitation with us.   
 
Our neighborhood is proving to be a pretty good one for sheltering in place.  We have a small produce market close by, as well as a good meat market - both family owned.  With the assistance of my weekly CSA box, I find I do not have to go to Safeway too often. I have time to cook, read, and do some cleaning, although I confess there a few tasks I am behind on.  I am able to dedicate the first hours of every morning to God in reading, meditation, and prayer.  Then, I either do yoga or take the dog for a walk.  I realize I am fortunate in all of this, and most of the time I am grateful.  Yet, this morning, the political news was disconcerting  (as it often is) and for a moment, I almost lost heart. I wanted to get away: maybe take a journey up the coast where Tyler, Jack, and I could stop and have lunch, do a little window shopping, and then find a small inn where we could spend the night.  Of course, little of that is feasible now. However, as I unpacked my CSA box, I found some beautiful red spring onions and a large bulb of fennel.  I decided that fish grilled with those two vegetables might make for a good supper. I went to the market and fairly quickly was able to purchase some fresh ling cod.  I came home, did a bit of yard work, and admired the beauty of the clover blossoms that seem to be enticing bees and other insects to linger in our yard.  I filled the birdbath, and watered some plants.  When I paused, I realized that a cool breeze was blowing.  I gave thanks. Yes, right where I was.       
 
We really are always invited to let Christ in.  For a moment, I lost sight of that ever present welcome. My door was closed.  I neither heard an invitation, nor was I extending one. The table was not set. Regardless, the invitation was there. The love of Christ cannot be experienced in a wish for things to be different.  Instead, we must feast with Christ on the day we have been given, in the midst of the done, the incomplete, and the downright messy.         

   
photograph: San Leandro, May 2020.  The humble nasturtium reminds me that we can use some good lighting.   
 

   
    

Tuesday, May 5, 2020

All the News

Today, I am distracted.  The news I am reading about what is happening in some of our skilled nursing communities is heartbreaking.  I have spent almost 13 years visiting skilled nursing communities, singing in skilled nursing, praying, serving Communion, laughing, and sometimes weeping, all in the course of a single day.   I am missing those I serve and those I serve with.  SpiritCare has some of the most loyal, attentive volunteers that any ministry or 501c3 could hope for.  

Of course, serving these communities sometimes does have its difficulties, but I have always felt a sacred presence among the residents. Yes, in some communities the staff turnover is high.  It is not easy work and many employees are underpaid.  Yet, there are those I have seen every month for years, and my heart goes out to those who are impacted by this virus, and the prayer requests I have received.  
  
I have read more than one letter to the editor and seen more than one protest sign announcing that we should just let the old and frail die so everyone else can go about their lives.  However, we cannot let a callous few destabilize our intentions.  We may not be able to visit these communities in person, but we are reaching out in a variety of ways to let people know that they do not live and work in vain, and that even when facing something as silent and mysterious as this pandemic, God is right there with them. So are our prayers, our emails, our love.   

The reactions of ageism, selfishness, and anger that we are witnessing right now are rooted in fear.  However, we have always been called to face fear with love. Love is what SpiritCare has always brought to the communities, and love is what we will continue to bring.  Maybe in different ways right now, but we are still reaching out because that is what the ministry has done for over thirty years.   

Our gratitude to those who are contacting the ministry with offers of masks, prayers, and friendship.  Fear-filled times can bring out the worst in us, or the best.  Fortunately, we are seeing more of the latter.  Let us keep going.    
  
In Gratitude, 
Rev. Sue Ann    
   
 If we love each other, God remains in us and his love is made perfect in us.   
1 John 4:12b   
 
 photograph:  last day in April, 2020, San Leandro     
  
 
 
    

Friday, May 1, 2020

Activating Peace

"May you become in practice all that you are in potential. May the love that informs every cell in your body permeate every thought in your mind."  
Thomas Ashley-Farrand 


I came across this quote this morning.  I find it encouraging, and I pray you will as well.  I am thinking that the idea of working for peace is off track.  There is only peace.  Everything else is a reaction. Therefore, the only way to "work for peace" is to become the peace that is inherent in all of life.  It really is more of a revealing than an achievement.  
   
This week Tyler and I watched the movie, "Gandhi".  Gandhi's story is large, much like India herself, and difficult to contain in a three hour movie.  I liked the movie and certainly Ben Kingsley's portrayal of Gandhi was masterful.  However, I believe that a weakness of the movie is that it did not highlight that at the heart of Gandhi's life was a complete surrender to the teachings in The Bhagavad Gita ( Sanskrit for The Song of the Lord).  He truly was able to renounce the trappings of the world and allowed the text to come alive in him.  "The Gita has been a mother to me ever since I became first acquainted with it in 1889...But you must approach Mother Gita in all reverence, if you would benefit by her ministrations."* 

I have always found strength in Jesus' words in John 14:27:  "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."  Both Jesus and Gandhi knew the world to be a pretty unreliable source of peace.  Peace is of God, and is God, and God is always offering peace to us no matter what is going on around us.  May we accept this gift, and then live it in the world.  Then, we, too, can turn from being reactionaries to "actionaries," ones who through our very lives bring peace.     
  
*Gandhi the Man, How one man changed himself to change the world, Eknath Easwaran, Nilgiri Press, 2011, p.127  
  
photograph:  San Leandro, April 2020