Freedom

Last week, I stopped by the Our Lady of Peace Shrine in Santa Clara.  She stands 32 feet tall.  At her feet are steps and a modest green lawn. Around the lawn's circumference are the stations of the cross.  That afternoon I walked the stations, and found them quite well done.  I am sorry that the picture that is attached does not reflect the quality.  There was just too much sun that afternoon. 

   

This station is of Christ being bound.  In this depiction, he appears to be calmly accepting this fate.   My first thought when I viewed this station was that we are still binding up Christ. We just can't seem to let that love and acceptance be free in this world.  If Christians truly believe that we are part of the living body of Christ in this world, we would treat our fellow human beings with deep respect.  For some reason, we just can't seem to muster up that much love.  

 

In her book, Living with Contradiction, Esther de Waal writes, "It is the humble and honest acceptance of my frailty that frees me from pretense, from the effort to impress, from the attempt to justify, from the determination to succeed (46)." Ironically, in the moment portrayed at this station, Jesus is the one who is most free.  Everyone else has a prescribed role, or what de Waal calls the "mask."   I liken it to those times when I am tempted to show up as "the" pastor, rather than simply as "a" pastor. I wear a collar, but I cannot hide behind it.  Some of my most seemingly most vulnerable moments happen when I am wearing one, because regardless of it, I can only be who I am.  I must rely on Christ.  When I do not, I am trapped by my own ego.   

  

In my walk among the ill and the frail, I have met many who were completely vulnerable, but also absolutely enlightened.  They have shared this inner light with me without even knowing it.  They have guided me with that light, and I am grateful.  That light is eternal.  We do not ignite it, but rather reveal it. And to do that, we must let go of pretense and posturing. I think this letting go is also experienced in times of that refiner's fire known as great sorrow.  In deep sorrow, there can be no pretense.  Many emotions, yes, but there is no energy left for donning a mask.   

   

Cultivate humility. 

To be exalted is to be in danger. 

 Pride is considered a sin because  

it warps our existence. 

It establishes our lives on a false foundation.    

 

No one can win all the time. 

Therefore, a life based on bettering others 

will always be unfulfilled. 

 

The way to affiliation with the sublime 

is not to add, 

but to take away more each day 

until we have been freed, 

even from desire for perfection.      

 

John McQuiston II 

Always We Begin Again