Family

Last night I dreamed of standing on a porch talking to three women who are from Texas. In the dream, just before the conversation, I pick up an old style rotary phone and talk to an operator. I say something like, "I need to talk to West Texas."  A woman answers the phone and I gave her my name. She said, "You need to talk to Pauline."  Pauline's friend had recently died, and Pauline is grieving. I think I did wake for a few minutes, and when I returned to sleep, we are on the porch.  Also on the porch is a pianist sitting at a piano. He begins to play an incredibly beautiful piece of music with an almost other worldly tenderness. I watch him grow almost translucent. His eyes close.  After he finishes, the music seems to linger, and I fold my hands together and I thank him. I hug the women and they depart. The pianist (someone I know in my waking life) never speaks a word. This dream marks the first time I can ever remember hearing music in a dream. 

Lately, I have been thinking of grief, and its importance in our lives.  Important enough that I now think of grief as our mother.  When we grieve, we are born from her and through her.  This birthing, molding, dying, and being born again continues throughout our lives, and this process is how our lives are created.  When we try to deny her, all sorts of problems come up, including addictions and other behaviors that can do harm not only to ourselves, but to those who are trying to love us. Yet, it is not helpful to stay with her too long, either. Learning to live with grief is a delicate dance of holding and letting go. Fortunately, Mother Grief has sisters who can help guide us: Wisdom and Understanding.  They will help us find the way so we can be reunited with our dear sister Joy, and we will be able to walk with her a good long while.    

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. 

Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. 

Matthew 5:3-5  

  

When the journey seems long, 

when we become discouraged 

along the way, 

You uphold and sustain us, 

You restore us with your saving grace.     

Psalm 119, Nan C. Merrill 

Psalms for Praying