During this time of sheltering, I have returned to one of my favorite books on baking, Beard on Bread by James Beard, copyright 1973. On the cover is a faded sticker that reads $2.50. I know that was the price when it was new because that hefty price was also imprinted on the corner of the front cover. It is no longer in good condition, partly because paperbacks generally do not age well, but mostly because it is loved. While I do not remember buying this book, I do remember buying James Beard's Theory and Practice of Good Cooking, copyright 1977. Around that time, I was living in a one room flat in a dilapidated house in San Francisco that fortunately was close to a very good market. Just a little further on up the street was a small store that specialized in kitchen items. I bought Beard's book, a good paring knife, and a few pieces of dinnerware that were stamped "Made in Italy" on the back. I felt liberated as I set out to learn to cook.
A few nights ago I baked again from the bread book. I finally tried a recipe entitled "Helen Evans Brown's Corn Chili Bread". I think the only reason I had never tried this recipe before is because when I hunger for cornbread with green chilies and cheese, I have always relied on a tattered recipe for "Spanish Corn Bread" from my mother's recipe box. Both her plain cornbread and the so-called Spanish version call for equal parts cornmeal and flour. There is no flour mentioned in Brown's bread. However, I felt courageous because I knew I had a good quality stone ground cornmeal on hand, and I had just cooked a pot of Jacob's Cattle beans, an heirloom bean from Llano Seco in Butte County, California.
In his introduction to Brown's recipe, Beard wrote, "The late Helen Evan Brown was a specialist in California's traditional foods." Intrigued, I went to Amazon Smile but the hardback copies of Brown's books were priced at over $100. I ordered a used paperback version, which will probably be in about the same questionable shape as my bread book. He also added: "It is one of my oldest bread recipes, and one of my very favorites." That seems to be the way with cornbread and other food. We are generally loyal to trusted recipes and to the people who have passed them on.
The chili part of the recipe was a 4 oz. can of green chilies (Beard and probably Brown spelled it chilis). A dear friend, with whom I shared many meals, grew up in New Mexico. She always made it known that she abhorred canned chilies. However, those small blue, yellow, and green cans of diced, and even whole chilies are the food of my childhood, and I always try to keep some in my pantry. At the beginning of the shelter in place, I realized I did not have any. I felt foolish, but was relieved to see them in the markets. I did veer from the recipe twice. She called for finely diced cheese. I had a hard time imagining finely dicing cheese, so I pulled out the old box grater. Also, I did not have any of the fresh corn she called for, but I did have a can of unsalted corn and I used part of that. Even with these substitutions, the bread was delicious.
In his book, The Art of Living, Thich Nhat Hanh writes, "When we are able to transform our suffering, we do so not only for ourselves but also for all of our ancestors and descendants (170)." I agree with him that much of our suffering is passed on from generation to generation. Sometimes as I bake or cook, I do have a sense of my cooking ancestors (I count my friend who did not like canned chilies among them as she passed a few years ago) joining me, and I find comfort in remembering them. Am I healing them as I heal myself? Perhaps. It is a lovely thought because I believe that generally, we do not heal in isolation, and healing, like our souls, is ongoing. I think each of us owes it to the world to be as healthy as we can be. Not in a fanatical, trying to look like we are 20 years old, never been a sick a day in our life kind of way, but in a wholesome way that helps us to live in balance with ourselves and all of life. We are, after all, related.
As Tyler ate beans and cornbread that evening he said, "This is such a Sue Ann meal." Perhaps he, too, found some healing and connection in these times. I hope so. May you as well.
Blessings,
Rev. Sue Ann
The photograph includes the one remaining plate from that purchase decades ago. I almost sold it at a yard sale last year, but I just could not give it up. Cornbread made without flour does not rise as high as one made with some flour, but the texture is very satisfying. I really must recommend using stone-ground cornmeal if you can possibly find it.
