Why I Keep Photographing Flowers (and trees and rocks and other stuff)

"Self-Portrait as a Tuning Fork"

There is, perhaps you’ve felt it,

a moment when the day falls away

and your name falls away and

everything you thought you knew

falls away and for a moment

you know yourself only

as whatever it is

that continues—

your whole body abuzz

with the eternity of it—

and you quiver

as if struck by the great hand

of what is true,

becoming pure tone,

a vibration, a wave,

a human-shaped resonator

tuned to the frequency

of life itself,

and though later you might try

to dissect what happened,

in that moment you’re too abloom

to wonder how or why,

you simply are

this ecstatic unfolding

knowing the self as I am,

so alive and so infinite

you tremble like a song.

~ Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer

image: "Community", June, 2025, say

We Are...

 I love this poem. It encourages me to hold on to the belief that we are more than our minds. It encourages me to hold on to the belief that we are all connected. It encourages me to hold on to the belief that we are souls.  We do not have souls like we have a wallet. We are less, and we are more. 

Yo No Soy Yo

I Am Not I

I am not I.

I am this one

walking beside me whom I do not see,
whom at times I manage to visit,
and whom at other times I forget;
the one who remains silent while I talk,
the one who forgives, sweet, when I hate,
the one who takes a walk when I am indoors,
the one who will remain standing when I die.   

   

Juan Ramon Jimenez   

        

You don’t need to change who you are—you only need to remember.

Jack Kornfield 

   

image:  CA Buckeye with Ladybug, Oyster Bay, San Leandro
   

The Pull of Water, Part 2

 As I mentioned in my post entitled "The Pull of Water, Part 1" we camped one night in a beautiful site that overlooked Lake Pillsbury, and the night before that we camped at a site on the lake. There, we talked briefly with a soft-spoken man who lovingly spoke of the lake's beauty. He encouraged us to go see the other side of the lake to see the elk. On our way out of the forest we did indeed stop at the other side and walked towards the lake.  In the distance we could see the elk gathering at the water's edge. We did not actually walk as far as the edge of the lake in order to avoid disturbing the delicate flora.   

During our journey to the forest, we periodically spotted signs that read, "Save Lake Pillsbury". When I got home, I read that Lake Pillsbury is controversial because it came into existence when the Scott Dam was built on the Eel River in the 20's. Indigenous people and those who are ecologically oriented contend that the dam should be removed so that the river can again flow freely, and the dam has been decommissioned.  Certainly if the salmon and other fish of the Eel could actually have a say, I am sure that they would vote for freeing the river as well.   

Yet, for those who frequent the lake and for those who make a living on the lake, the decision is not so straightforward. Recreation and the quest for solitude aside, another consideration is that Lake Pillsbury is the closest source of water when there is a forest fire.  Some concern has been expressed about the elk. Fortunately, I knew nothing about any of this while we were there, so I could just innocently savor the peace of the lake before the area's vacation season was underway.  I found Lake Pillsbury to be a place of healing, yes even with the wind, and the memory of the lake is staying with me, partly because we were able to talk briefly with someone who loves the lake and who quietly encouraged us to "go and see the other side". 

Ultimately, that is why we travel. We learn to not only look, but also to see.   

  

    

image:  "The Other Side of the Lake", May 2025

Wisdom from Kabir

                                                          

                                       I had to seek the Physician 

because of the pain this world 

caused me.  

  

I could not believe what happened when I got there -

I found my 

Teacher.   

   

Before I left, he said, 

"Up for a little homework, yet?"  

"Okay," I replied.  

      

"Well then, try thanking all the people 

who have caused 

you pain.    

   

They helped you 

come to me."   

   

Kabir (1440 - 1518)   

    

   

image:  Tilden Park, May 2025

The Pull of Water, Part 1

When we entered the Mendocino National Forest, we saw on the map that Lake Pillsbury has a resort, marina, and campground. We decided that might be a good option for our first stop in the forest. We were surprised to find only a locked gate; the season was not yet open. Fortunately, a friendly young couple was close by and they pointed the way to an open campground on the lake.   

After we settled in, we walked down to the beautiful and peaceful blue lake. There we met a soft spoken man whose car had a canoe strapped on top. We greeted one another, and I commented on the beauty of the lake. He replied, "Yes, I come here often. My wife no longer joins me, but I still come. You must go to the other side so you can see the elk." His quiet demeanor gave me a sense that the lake was a place of solace for him, and that sense of respect became ours as well.  

Yet as I mentioned in my previous post, our intention for the next day was to drive up and over Hull Mountain (elevation 6,878 feet) and camp on the other side, and that is the journey we undertook. While most of the way was dry, we ran into some snow very near the crest of where we were to cross. Tyler stopped to walk through this patch to get a sense of what was around the bend, and to see if we would have the clearance we needed. He had said all along that if we came across slushy snow we would turn around, but over the past few months, he had equipped the truck with recovery gear should we get stuck. Nonetheless, I was very insecure about the possibility of getting stranded in snow in such a remote area. I did not grow up in snow country, and I am not drawn to it. I was going to walk with Tyler, but my balance, which is a little unsteady now, is particularly poor in the snow. As I slipped, I figured my tumbling and sliding off this mountain road was not going to be helpful so I did not continue. The wind was formidable, and so was my fear. 

When he returned, he said that he believed we did have the clearance we needed, but the road was narrow so if we needed to turn around, we might find it difficult. I reminded him that there was a fine spot to turn around just a few feet behind us. We talked some more, and our decision was made. We turned around, and on the way down we found a beautiful spot to camp that overlooked Lake Pillsbury.     

Tyler and I have always travelled well together, mainly because we listen to each other. We have talked at length about our decision. Could we have made it to the other side of the mountain? The answer will always remain unknown, and for now, the quest remains in the future. I am fine with that, and even though Tyler believed we could have gone forward, he respected my fear. I am grateful.        

Writing this, I am reminded that I am not much of an adventurer, but I still contend I am an explorer. I love going out and viewing terrain. I recently started reading Belden Lane's The Solace of Fierce Landscapes. In his book Lane contends that in our encounters of wild and fierce landscapes, and I would place Hull Mountain in that category, we are faced with a reality that we cannot manipulate. These places teach us humility as we learn to rely solely on God (think of Elijah in the cave).  I think these landscapes can be found just about anywhere that gives us a sense we have no control: hospital emergency rooms, at the side of a loved one who is passing, or in a stack of bills that must go unpaid for another month. 

        

More on Lake Pillsbury to follow. We did make it to the other side of the lake, and found it beautiful. There is controversy concerning this lake, and I will go into that yet another side of the lake as well.     

         

        

"Plants and animals change as one goes up the mountain, and so apparently do people."

Diana Kappel-Smith, Desert Time: A Journey Through the American Southwest, 

from The Solace of Fierce Landscapes, Belden Lane   

      

        

 

   

Image was taken on the ascent of Hull Mountain. It was so windy that I actually received a message that no photo or video could be taken. Here I practiced standing firm. The wind was very much part of the spirit of place.        

Connecting

 As Tyler and I journeyed through a small part of the very large Mendocino National Forest, we often found ourselves in areas where many of the trees had been scarred, or even devestated by fire and bark beetles. However, our last night was spent on a cliff overlooking the beautiful Lake Pillsbury (where we stayed the night before) and the mountains and sky beyond. There, we were surrounded by trees that were mostly healthy, and the manzanita trees were blooming. Many bees were visiting the manzanitas, and that surprised me because we were descending from the high elevation of Hull Mountain, elevation 6,877 feet. However, I have learned that miner bees and eastern carpenter bees are indigenous to the area, and yes, are very attracted to manzanita. 

We were able to locate this beautiful camping spot because as we were descending, Tyler looked to the right and said, "This looks like a good spot for a picnic." The sun was warm, and while higher up on Hull Mountain a powerful and cold wind was gusting, this site was still, peaceful, and beautiful.  A ground squirrel, one dark grey lizard, a Western Tiger Swallowtail butterfly, a much smaller white butterfly, and the bees were our noticable companions. At one point, I looked to my right where the truck was parked, and there the squirrel was sitting still and upright beneath it. it appeared to be gazing off into the distance, giving the appearance of a small monk in contemplation.  

We ate our lunch, and decided to set up camp.  

The wind did eventually blow that night, and it blew hard. However, the camper and truck provided good protection. The night sky was clear and beautiful, but we found we could not linger outside long enough to fully take in and appreciate the view; the wind and chill were just too much for these travellers from sea level. However, that morning we woke to a bright sunrise taking place in that same clear sky. The lizard was out doing its morning pushups on a nearby log, and the bees were already buzzing about. We never did see coyotes, but we heard a few the evening before, yipping as they called their pack together. Yes, it is a strange, excitable cry, but it sounds so celebratory that always makes me smile. I believe they sing a song of anticipation, knowing that they belong together, and that it is time to gather and join in the hunt for sustance that will hopefully feed and sustain the pack. I have much respect for those creatures. We humans could learn much from them.  

In these next few unscheduled days, I have some more writing to do. For now, I am still savoring the times when we heard nothing but forest sounds and silence. I am also savoring that as we drove along those fairly isolated and rough roads, drivers of other vehicles would wave or nod. If we were stopped, people, including one sheriff, paused and asked if everything was ok.  Not one person drove by us without some signal of recognition. Yes, the interactions were reserved, but kind. We needed nothing more. I was reminded of my father. He would do much the same, by lifting one of his long and bony index fingers. I remember asking him once why he did that. He replied, "I would feel foolish waving my hand up and down." Somehow, then and even now, I learned to appreciate the small glances and gestures that connect us, reminding us that we are recognized.  

  

More later. I sense my garden is calling.   

  

Blesssings, 

Sue Ann    

         

image:  Overlooking Lake Pillsbury, Mendocino National Forest, May 2025

Pausing Before Mopping the Floor

                                                                         

Clearing

Do not try to save
the whole world
or do anything grandiose.
Instead, create
a clearing
in the dense forest
of your life
and wait there
patiently,
until the song
that is your life
falls into your own cupped hands
and you recognize and greet it.
Only then will you know
how to give yourself to this world
so worthy of rescue.

Martha Postlewaite      

      

     

image:  my back garden, April 2025

Fullness

 "All this is full. All that is full. 

From fullness, fullness comes."

   

from The Shvetashvatara Upanishad 

translated by Eknath Easwaran    

   

Christ was not a one-time event. Christ can never be destroyed. Fear keeps trying, but to no avail. Blessed be.  

  

   

image: Iris in my front yard. April 2025     

          

   

Refuge

 As I read and reread the following quote, the more it brings me to acceptance. This morning I woke with the knowing that peace already exists, and it is eternal.  Does that mean that we humans are living peacefully? Alas, no. As much as we need the healing of peace, we often go in the opposite direction- creating more chaos, more strife, more separation, more grief.  

Yesterday, I stopped at a small Japanese restaurant that sits in a narrow strip mall. I had never been there, but despite the noise both inside and outside the restaurant, I found peace. I found a place to rest and be nourished. I also found a place where I could listen to two very young children talking to each other and the adults who were with them.  No, I could not understand them, but they seemed to understand one another. They were speaking the language of discovery. The parents were encouraging the children to speak familiar words because that is what generally well intentioned parents do. Yet, I loved listening to those children delight one another. I felt no need to hear words I already knew.   

As I was leaving, I told the parents that I so enjoyed hearing the children, and I gave them a blessing for a happy family.  Yes, that blessing surprised the adults, but I think these fortunate children probably understand the joy of blessings very well.  

"If two or more people love one another deeply, they may come to that profound level of awareness and mind-expansion in which no words are necessary because their intimacy is not built on words. And the stronger the love, the more profound will be the silence and the deeper will be the enlightenment. Furthermore, if this love goes to the core of their being, it brings a realization of something more than the people involved -- it brings a consciousness of the all; it contains an element of universality."

~ from SILENT MUSIC by William Johnston     

      

image:  "Beyond the Fence"  San Leandro

Room to Move

 "You must have a room, or a certain hour or so a day, where you don't know what was in the newspapers that morning, you don't know who your friends are, you don't know what you owe anybody, you don't know what anybody owes to you. This is a place where you can simply experience and bring forth what you are and what you might be. This is the place of creative incubation. At first you may find that nothing happens there. But if you have a sacred place and use it, something eventually will happen."

~ Joseph Campbell   

  

This quote came this morning from an email from Friends of Silence. There are indeed times when unknowing is more powerful, more healing than knowing. Allowing ourselves time to find the balance between the two states is essential now. For the past few days I have been pondering the Greek word, metanoia. It is often translated as change. Yet, I recently heard a short presentation by Kathleen Flanagan, Director of Franciscan Ministries, and her talk expanded my understanding of what metanoia means. Her premise was that when both Jesus and St. Francis experienced metanoia, they were led deeper into their ministries of serving the poor, sick, and dying. Our metanoias can lead us to more fully understand our own calls to serve. 

Too often, we try to harden ourselves against change. However, after reading Rupert Sheldrake's book The Physics of Angels, co-authored with Matthew Fox, I now envision our souls as fields of energy, and I do not believe these fields can be hardened, although our thinking and attitudes certainly can be. In her lovely book, The Yogi's Way, Reema Datta writes, "The Upanishads [ancient Sanskrit texts] describe our true Self as devoid of any fixed quality or characteristic." She goes on to explain that quantum physics has revealed that we are made up of cells that are made up of molecules that are in turn made up of atoms that are 99.9 percent empty space. Datta writes that again, according to her understanding of quantum physics, every object and person is a "field of pure potentiality" rather than fixed beings ( p. 106)."        

It is, of course, perilous to quote someone about quantum physics, or really, any subject, when you yourself know absolutely nothing about it. However, I love the phrase "pure potentiality". I once read that Stephen Hawking (1942-2018) contended that a better human was possible, and I have always believed, and will continue to do so, that humanity is headed in that direction. In a period that could truly be an exciting time of exploration and learning, I am sorry that the US voted to cling to a backward and solidified notion of who we are as a people. That decision, while by no means unilateral, is costly and disappointing, and is impacting not only us but the world. Hardened hearts and minds are seldom catalysts for growth and new understanding, but I will continue to hold the idea that at least some of our potential for good can be explored in this time.   

          

Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing,
There is a field. I'll meet you there.
When the soul lies down in that grass,
The world is too full to talk about.
Ideas, language, even the phrase each other
Doesn't make any sense.

Rumi, translated from Persian by Coleman Barks and John Moyne   

 

       

 

image: Half Moon Bay, a few years ago 

Novena, Day 5

 The last time I sent these novenas (2021), I changed the word love in the first and last lines to Christ. For this cycle, I reverted to Parrish-Harris' version. However, today I seek the great light that is Christ. However weary or ill we may feel, the work of Rupert Sheldrake has convinced me that our souls are energetic fields, always radiating.  Our work is to align our minds, bodies, and souls so we do not block the path to the work we are here to do.  In his deeply insightful book, Ladders to the Light, Steven Charleston writes, "I think you and I have been recruited as spiritual medics...Socially, economically, and politically, people are struggling around us. People are anxious, angry, and afraid." He goes on to say that it is into this reality that the spiritual medic is called upon to "leave the trenches and stand on open ground for the sake of peace."   

Take care of yourselves, dear friends. Your light is so needed in this world. 

    

I greet this day with Christ in my heart. 

I respond to the actions of others with love. 

Adversity and discouragement will beat 

against my shield of love and become soft as rain. 

My shield of love sustains me when I am alone, 

Uplifts me in moments of despair

And calms me in times of confusion. 

I awaken to the new day with vitality

and joy of living. 

As my courage increases, my enthusiasm rises. 

My desire to greet the world overcomes every fear.  

I accept happiness from the sources made available to me. 

As I become stronger, I cast aside the shield

And walk unencumbered among the family of humanity, 

giving and receiving. 

The radiation of unconditional love awakens the joy 

of living in everyone I meet. 

I greet this day with Christ in my heart.  

  

Rev. Carol Parrish-Harra

        

image:  "Community of Light", February 2025, my backyard

Novena, Day 4

 "Don't be afraid to struggle." I am pondering those words that were written on a poster that depicted a determined young girl who was either hiking or running. I was at the dentist office, and I did not have a chance to really investigate it. The words have stayed with me, though. This morning the words, "stay planted" came to mind and I wrote them in my journal. I interpret those words as an encouragement to be present, and yes, connect. Connect with love. 

Our roots are deepening. We are stronger than we know, and others, the seen and the unseen, are standing with us.    

    

Day 4

I greet this day with love in my heart. 

I embrace all of humanity, seeking qualities to admire. 

Though I often have not been able to see clearly,

With love I will tear down walls of separation 

which have been built. 

In their place I will build bridges of connection. 

I love the ambitious, for they inspire me to greater action. 

I love those who fail, because they teach me endurance. 

I love the young, for the faith that they hold, 

the elders, for the wisdom they offer. 

I embrace the ugly and the beautiful, 

the rich and the poor, the meek and the bold. 

I acknowledge the spark of divinity 

that resides in each life I meet. 

I greet this day with love in my heart. 

  

Rev. Carol E. Parrish-Harra     

      

I am thinking that this photograph was taken in British Columbia, but I do not know for certain.  Canada, and the friends I have there, are on my heart and mind.      

 

Novena, Day 3

 Because of what is going on in our nation I think some of us will struggle with the second line of this novena. Yet, I appreciate the reminder to watch my fight or flight responses.  When my mind calms, I  hearing the psalmist singing, "Be still and know that I am God."

I am enjoying going through some of my older photographs. I love this image because I see a choir singing in the blooming.  Maybe I will get to the point when I can hear the singing. For now, I simply celebrate the joy of form and color.  

This morning the wind is rising, and the sky is overcast. It is a beautiful hymn of praise. 

I greet this day with love in my heart.
I will love those I confuse as enemies
and find ways to know them as friends.
I encourage my friends as they become
my brothers and sisters.
I will find ways to applaud.
I release harmful words and thoughts.
When I am tempted to criticize,
I will find compassion.
When I am moved to praise,
I will speak out clearly.
I will join the birds, the wind, and the sea
as nature speaks praise for the Creator.
I will become as music with the children of God.
As I remember my resolve, I will uplift my life.
I greet this day with love in my heart.    

   

  Rev. Carol E. Parrish-Harra

The Book of Rituals          

          

Novena, Day 2

 The Blue Nile Lilies are not yet in bloom, but I love the movement in this photograph.  Life is energy. May we always radiate love, no matter who and what we are facing. 

This photograph was taken in my front garden years ago. The lily, which is at least 30 years old, continues to do well. I draw inspiration from all the plants in my garden, but the older ones sing a special message: "Simply be."  

Day 2  

I greet this day with love in my heart. 

Henceforth, I look on all life with compassion. 

I realize the rebirth within myself. 

I love the sun, and it warms me. 

Yet, I love the rain for it cleanses my spirit. 

I love the darkness for it shows me the stars. 

I welcome happiness for it expands my heart; 

I endure sadness for it teaches me compassion. 

I experience the challenges of my life 

as they aid in my growth. 

I greet this day with love in my heart.    

 

Rev. Carol E. Parrish-Harra 

The Book of Rituals      

        

Novena Day 1

 I first shared this novena in 2005 and again in 2021.  This morning, as I watched the morning light change, it came to mind once more.  A novena is a cycle of 9 days of prayer. Exactly why, I do not know, but it feels appropriate to begin the novena again.   

The photograph is from some years ago. I have always loved it. Even though firmly rooted, the rose has a sense of expectancy, maybe even longing to greet what is beyond the gate. I believe the conversation has already begun.     

I greet this day with love in my heart. 

This is the great secret to happiness. 

This unseen power of love can open the hearts 

of humanity and bless all of life. 

I will make love my most effective tool, 

Bringing the energy of life to myself and others. 

Love will melt the blocks within and around me. 

Opening me to the joy of life. 

I liken love to the rays of the sun which can 

soften the cold of the harshest day. 

I greet this day with love in my heart.   

 

Rev. Carol E. Parrish-Harris, 

The Book of Rituals  

   

   

Lent Begins

 I think my time at last night's Ash Wednesday prayer station may be one of my favorite recent ministry moments.  My community worships in a historic chapel on the campus of a larger sister congregation. The chapel is a small and unadorned building, but the beautiful acoustics makes one forget that the walls are bare and the benches have no cushions. The church who rents this space to us hosts an Ash Wednesday service in the chapel, and some of our members often attend.  When it came time for the imposition of ashes, I had been asked to be at the prayer station, and I happily accepted. I love praying with those I know, and those I don't. 

One beautiful young woman came to me for a blessing. In her arms was a small baby with beautiful dark eyes that looked right at me. I smiled at him and he smiled back. I placed my hand on his heart and lifted a prayer of gratitude for this young child. He just wanted to chew on my finger. With everything that is going on in our nation it would have been easy to pray a prayer of concern. However, worry did not surface for a second, only joy.  I am still smiling this morning.   

After everyone who wanted to take part had received their ashes, anointing oil, or a prayer (or all of the above as I encouraged them to do because these are strange times), the pastors paused and faced the congregation for the benediction. It was humbling to see the people sit quietly, most with ashes on their forehead. In that moment, I felt the unity that continues to hold us. We are not alone.     

As I drove home, I thought of Jesus and Mary. I have seen one, just one, drawing of the adult Jesus laughing in a small church in San Jose. I cannot remember ever seeing a picture of Mary smiling, but less laughing.  Maybe we need to let the Beloved Ones lighten up a bit. 

Blessings on your noble journey.  Make room for your beautiful soul. Chat with a baby when you can, but make sure to listen. These little ones are coming into our world with much wisdom to share.    

   

"The spiritual journey involves going beyond hope and fear, stepping into unknown territory, continually moving forward. The most important aspect of being on the spiritual path may be to just keep moving...
Rather than indulge or reject our experience, we can somehow let the energy of the emotion, the quality of what we're feeling pierce us to the heart. This is a noble way to live. It’s the path of compassion - the path of cultivating human bravery and kindheartedness."        

Pema Chodron 

     

 image: Coyote Hills Regional Park, 2025      

     

In the Neighborhood

 In anticipation of the February 28 boycott followed by Lent, I decided it was time to renew my library card. I rarely shop in large outlets, but I am quite reliant on Amazon for books and other items. So, I have placed a moratorium on buying new books until after Easter. I have several beautifully written books on hand waiting to be read, and I look forward to immersing myself in them. 

 On my way to the library I made a couple of stops. At my first one, I saw a woman I had not seen in quite some time. She apologized for looking so frazzled. She had been out of the country for a month or so, tending to a sister who is seriously ill. As I listened, I found myself growing quite still as she told me of her fear and sorrow as she struggled to accept that her younger sister, who physically lives a long way from her, is dying.   

As our time came to a close, I touched her arm and said, "Remember, life is eternal." Suddenly, it was as if she had stepped into a beautiful light. She had come home to her body. We hugged, said our good-byes, and wished one another well.  

I then went on to the produce market and the library. I needed to renew my library card which I learned had expired in 2019. I had a book in mind that I wanted to take a look at, but obviously it had been a long time since I had been in a library. I could not even remember how to even find a specific book. A woman kindly volunteered to help me, and then a young man guided me through the checkout process which had changed considerably since the last time I was there. Yet, I eventually walked out with not just one book, but three. I also walked out pondering how quickly young people seem to be moving these days, even at the produce market. It is tempting to feel inadequate, but if I moved that quickly, I might have missed a story that very much needed to be listened to. I am well past the time of needing to be efficient.   

I have recently enrolled in a tai chi class designed for those of us with arthritis. It is held at the senior center, and the first time I walked through those doors it was as if I was experiencing a silent rite of passage. Yet, despite the lack of fanfare, I am finding those I am learning with to be quite heroic in the quest to regain balance and some fluidity of movement. My life is changing, no question. However, I also think my experiences are deepening. Technological advances have their place, but so do we. May we not underestimate the strength that can be found in community and connection, despite what some politicians want us to believe. 

My thanks to the Salt Project for this morning's poem. My thanks to all of you.     

     

What We Need Is Here

Geese appear high over us,

pass, and the sky closes. Abandon,
as in love or sleep, holds
them to their way, clear
in the ancient faith: what we need
is here. And we pray, not
for new earth or heaven, but to be
quiet in heart, and in eye,
clear. What we need is here.    

 

Wendell Berry      

      

image: "Yes, There Is a Bee There"  San Leandro, July 2024