When I saw Roger, he and Charlie were engaged in conversation in the lobby. My heart is always touched by them both. Roger is highly educated and elegant. He has little or no mobility in his lower body, and he can no longer read, but his mind is very much intact. I know at times he feels trapped. The last two times I had visited him, he was ill and quite angry. Yet, when I saw him this week, his color was good and he was smiling. He took my hand and said, "Oh, Sue Ann, I have been in the hospital twice. While I was there, I found myself thinking about some of the people that are here - people who are really very caring. I found myself thinking about you, and how you are always telling us that God is calling us into relationships. I think I am finally beginning to understand."
Charlie, who was looking freshly scrubbed, began to tell us yet again, in his carefully measured speech, that he has a Ph.D. from Harvard. His life path has not been an idyllic stroll, but rather one marked by the extreme highs and lows of mental illness. I think that he keeps telling us so he can remember that there were not just difficulties and dramatic mishaps in his life, but some real triumphs as well. He reminded us of his thesis that had been returned to him marked, "Immanently acceptable." And then he smiled and said, "I suspect that Sue Ann believes that we are all immanently acceptable." We all laughed deeply, but it was a poignant moment of being known and loved for each of us. We have now known each other five years.
I think you all for your birthday wishes. This year I turned sixty, and on October 15 I will celebrate my fifth year with SpiritCare, a truly life changing ministry. I also have been serving as an interim minister for a small church in San Jose, New Community of Faith. Yes, it is a balancing act, but I am grateful.
This blessing came to me twice yesterday, so it seems wise and well to send it to all of you. May your courage and your love be rekindled today, and know that you, too, are immanently acceptable, for you belong to God.
For a New Beginning
In out-of-the-way places of the heart,
Where your thoughts never think to wander,
This beginning has been quietly forming,
Waiting until you were ready to emerge.
For a long time it has watched your desire,
Feeling the emptiness growing inside you,
Noticing how you willed yourself on,
Still unable to leave what you had outgrown.
It watched you play with the seduction of safety
And the gray promises that sameness whispered,
Heard the waves of turmoil rise and relent,
Wondered would you always live like this.
Then the delight, when your courage kindled,
And out you stepped onto new ground,
Your eyes young again with energy and dream,
A path of plenitude opening before you.
Though your destination is not yet clear
You can trust the promise of this opening;
Unfurl yourself into the grace of beginning
That is at one with your life's desire.
Awaken your spirit to adventure;
Hold nothing back, learn to find ease in risk;
Soon you will be home in a new rhythm,
For your soul senses the world that awaits you.
~ John O'Donohue ~