A friend recently recommended a very fine book to me: God's Hotel by Victoria Sweet, a physician at Laguna Honda Hospital. Dr. Sweet's reflections on medicine, the love of a hospital that serves the very poor, the ironies of
dealing with
government bureaucracy, and
much
more make for compelling reading. Anyone who has come within two feet of me has received a verbal recommendation for this book
,
and now I am resorting to writing. I am grateful that I was already ordained when I read this book. This is the sort of book that could make one dedicate one's life to becoming either a doctor or a minister. Fortunately, that ground work has already been laid for me; I will leave the pursuit of a medical degree to those who have gifts in that area. However, I gratefully accept the encouragement to continue to try
to serve those living in long-term care communities
while keeping in mind that one day I,too, may be living in one
.
I often think that how we wait reflects more about our faith than many of our so-called good deeds, and I appreciate Dr. Sweet's ability to diagnose by utilizing not only her training, but also her gifts of patient observation that matured over time. She writes that she learned to "just sit" with a patient. If the patient wanted to talk, she would talk. If not, she would take a few minutes and simply sit with her patient. She describes it:
Just sitting was not the same thing as sitting, however. It's a little hard to explain. It was sitting, but not sitting and doing something... it was most like waiting for a train in Switzerland. I remembered that well. Sitting on a bench, with ticket purchased and in your pocket, knowing that the train will arrive on time; there is nothing to worry about and nothing more to do. The activity of the train station flows around you, and you observe, but not intently; you are aware, but not focused. People come and go; there is a hustle and bustle; but it is not your hustle and bustle (327).
In those sitting moments, Dr. Sweet often experienced a deepening connection and understanding of a patient and his or her condition. It is a beautiful image - this simply being with another person. The aged, ill, and frail often end up in communities that are full of activity and noise. The focus, either spoken or unspoken is, "Do this (or take this); it is good for you." Yes, sometimes medication is needed. Sometimes an activity can be quite enjoyable. Yet, we also need to let people simply have the time to be who they are. Otherwise, we risk giving them the sense that somehow, in all this hustle and bustle, they must have missed the train.
I believe I entered seminary with only one question: "What does it mean it to be an elder in this society?" In my last semester, I took the one aging and spirituality class that was offered. In that class, I was introduced to Laguna Honda. In that morning field trip, something stirred, and I think what stirred was God's encouragement to seek not just an answer to my question, but rather to experience that question in community. Many elders end up living in community, and few of us are prepared for that move. We spend much of our lives living under the illusion that individual strength and gusto will get us to where we need to be, and will keep us there indefinitely. Alas, that model works only for so long. The truth is, we need one another. In another interesting book, The Art of Aging, Dr. Sherwin B. Nuland, who died at the age of 83, wrote that aging can actually be a process of "attuning," of finding "new receptiveness to the possibilities conveyed in wavelengths perceptible only to those no longer young (8)" Our goal, despite what cosmetic companies would like us to believe, is not to stay forever young, but rather to use all our years to grow into our lives. This is what I call growing into God. I cannot help but think of trees. Research is showing that trees growing in forests actually communicate (i.e. attune) with one another, and some of this function is to help protect one another in times of stress and danger. Let us garner this wisdom and tend to one another. This surely is the ticket in our pocket. I am confident we are right on time.
They are like trees
planted by streams of water,
which yield their fruit in season,
and their leaves do not wither
in all that they do, they prosper.
Psalm 1: 3
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