A Moon and a Prayer

 A few nights ago I dreamed that I looked up into the night sky, and saw that the moon was square, looking like a slice of Wonder Bread. Even in the dream I am surprised. I woke and went to our small window at the head of the stairs, and peered out, just to be sure there had been no discernable shifts in our celestial universe. Fortunately, the moon appeared to still be round, although her waning gibbous phase made her look a little soft and squishy. While I did not really expect a square moon, I was relieved nonetheless. I realized that while I cherish the moon that always surprises me with her beauty, I still take comfort in her predictable journey.  

I do not know what this dream of a square moon signifies, but it does remind me that there is often a fine line between what we see and what we dream. Actually, I think our dreams, like our prayers and art, are a form of vision, and can be windows into our lives and psyches. 

Facebook has reminded me that on the first Sunday in May of 2018, I began my time as Associate Pastor of the San Lorenzo Church. In the fall of 2017, Rev. Annette Cook asked me if I would be her sabbatical replacement. I immediately said yes, and then almost as quickly wanted to say no. I had covered for other pastors during sabbaticals and medical leaves. Yet, Annette's highly organized system of doing things intimidated me. However, I talked about my concerns to the Associate Pastor at the time, Rev. Candace Frawley, and she assured me that we could work through any challenges together. I also knew that just a short time before, I had confided to God my weariness. I was tired of driving a thousand miles a month for SpiritCare. I remember very clearly telling God that it was time for me to come home. I may not have known exactly what that meant, but to say no to this invitation just felt wrong. I accepted.  

Yes, there were times when I bumped along and frustrated the heck out of the office manager and probably everyone else, but in the process I fell in love with the people. When Annette's sabbatical came to an end, I was sad. However, I knew I had to depart. Sabbatical replacements just can't hang around after sabbaticals end. Yet, the way would be made known for me to return. God was still listening to my yearnings and my prayers, and my way home was revealed. I am grateful. 

  

Holy One, I thank you that you and others listen less to my fears, and more to my heart. I thank you that the moon is still round, and that we of the San Lorenzo Community Church still gather to sing, to pray, to laugh, and sometimes cry. May we always be willing to peer through the windows of our hearts, and see your wonderous world unfold. And please continue to remind me that a pastor seldom has to work through things alone.   

      

   

image: camellia, April, 2023