Today was declared a mental health day. That was not my original intention. However, close to half an hour into my commute, I realized I had traveled less than 20 miles and was not moving. I simply could not go further, not physically, not mentally. As I slowly made my way to the next exit, I called the volunteers and the communities and rescheduled. Because there was a wreck on the reverse commute as well, I took side streets. It still took me about an hour to travel those less than twenty miles to get back home.
So what have I done on this mental health day? (By the way, I think every day should be dedicated to mental health, but I probably digress.) Started some laundry. Cleaned the kitchen and talked to the dog. Pickled some eggs - yes, some of you are wrinkling your noses, but others are thinking, "Maybe I should drop by their house in a couple of weeks." I ask, "What else do you do with leftover pickle brine?" I am also pondering Estelle.
Estelle came in just a little late to the worship service this week, and I really did not give that much thought because people come and go for a variety of reasons. Afterwards, she told me she was late because she had been listening to the president speak to the United Nations. I must have wrinkled my nose because she said, "I like him and I voted for him." I asked her if she still liked him, and she assured me that she did. I simply nodded my head.
I show up in skilled nursing not to convince anyone to believe differently than they believe, unless they are convinced that God has abandoned them, or that the One they call Jesus does not hold them dear, or that healing is for anyone other than them. I love Estelle and I have tremendous respect for her and the battles she continues to face. I think by now you all know I really do not care for the policies of the one who was elected. Yet it is my prayer that we will all continue to try to find the common ground of what it is to be human in these times. Perhaps I am cowardly in this, but then again I do not know if I have ever been known for having great courage.
So, Estelle and I hugged and we talked of her family. I am grateful to have met them a few months ago when they were taking her out to celebrate a birthday. She looked so happy that day, and I think that is how I will always remember her: laughing and walking upright, moving steadily towards the door with those she loved. This is where I cast my vote.
"O Beloved, why do I believe that
I can separate myself from You,
as an alien in a foreign land?
O that I might return to your Heart.
You know how I tremble with fear;
help me to break down the walls,
to let go of illusions, so that
I stand tall.
You have allowed me to suffer
hard things;
You have not prevented
my downfall.
You, who are Love, gave me leeway
to choose,
to wander far from home.
O my Beloved, be gracious to me,
welcome me back into new life,
hear my prayer.
Who dares to face their fears,
to break down the prison walls,
to walk with Love?
O grant us help to answer the call,
strengthen us with pure resolve.
With the Beloved we shall triumph;
with Love we shall be free."
Psalm 60, abridged
Psalms for Praying, Nan C. Merrill
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