Finding the Path, Learning the Way

 "The will in us to exact vengeance, which is escalatory by definition, comes down to nothing less than a drive towards death. We know cooperation and peace are how humans can survive but we more often choose the death-row exit strategies of revenge and war. The statement 'We have to fight back and protect ourselves so war is justified' is the same as 'There is no alternative to revenge.' These statements sound like war and revenge are the only plans we humans can think up. Yet we have ingenuity. We are certainly not myopic; we have gigantic vision. We are not primitive; we are better than that. We are not one-trick ponies; we are virtuosos.  We can widen the range of our moral imagination and moral courage." 

Introduction to Sweeter than Revenge, Overcoming Your Payback Mind, David Richo

 

On December 13, 2025 I attended a workshop led by author and teacher, David Richo. This workshop centered around his most recent book mentioned above. I do not know how often he has been making an annual trek to San Damiano in Danville to lead a workshop, but this was my third time to attend one of his events there. I was at first a little torn about attending just because of the timing. Looking back at my calendar, I see that December 13 was in the middle of Advent - a very good time, I learned, to explore the prevalence of revenge. Yes, even in myself. However, mostly I decided to attend because David Richo is not a young man, nor am I a young woman. There can be no assumptions made about next year being a better time. And I love his work.    

Our nation is being led by a man who spends an inordinate amount of time seeking control, one-uppance, violence, and revenge. Yes, his vision is myopic and self-focused. It is also frightening, embarrassing, and lethal. Our nation is better than what we are doling out to the world and to ourselves. However, in contrast, there is a group of Buddhist monks who have undertaken a long Peace Walk from Ft. Worth, TX to Washington D.C. They are about halfway through their journey. Yet, just to finish is, I do not believe, the goal, despite the weariness they are probably experiencing. Their goal is reached every day as people come out to witness the monks and their journey. Some come to support and give encouragement, some to express gratitude. Maybe some come because they have never witnessed a group of monks quietly walking single file through their town. Regardless, the monks are reminding us that we, too, can be people of peace. We can make our own lives a walk dedicated to peace. Not hoarding all the goodies for the benefit of a few. Not revenge when we do not get our way. Not hate, not death, but peace. The peace that happens when people try to understand and honor one another's journey.  

 The attached photograph was taken a few days ago. It is, of course, not mine, but is from the fb page, "Walk for Peace".  In both the man in the motorized chair and in the monk, I see Buddha. I see Jesus. I see no boundaries, only a deep love. I see hope for us all.  

  

       

A Lesson from a Sea Bird (Thank you, God)

 

While walking on the beach

I saw two gulls on this rock.

One was standing and casting

 its vision out over the sea.  

The other seemed to settle down

 as if to nest.  

No, that cannot be, I thought. 

This is a terrible place to raise a family. 

Too exposed, too cold,  

just too downright uncomfortable. 

If the egg actually hatched, 

how would the chick survive?

Sometimes they don't, I know, 

but if she was going to nest, 

why would she not go to the comfy trees 

that were just behind us, where a neighborly 

turkey vulture was waiting patiently

for the beach visitors to clear 

before feasting on an expired 

and well seasoned mola fish 

that had washed ashore.

That is a whole other mystery.

 I  took a picture of the gull,

a photograph that will not improve

one little bit my reputation

 as a photographer, 

 and we walked on.  

However, she has stayed 

in my mind and hopefully 

on that rock if that is really 

what she wants to do.

I have learned that gulls do indeed 

prefer to nest out in the open 

on rocks and exposed high ledges and such.  

 I think about her 

and wonder if she is ok,

and goodness, what about 

all this rain?  

Couldn't we build her a tasteful little gull hideaway?  

Okay, okay, I know

 they like to live life out in the open, 

But I swear if I knew someone 

in that small beach town 

I would call them and ask 

if  they could check on her, 

maybe I could even pay 

someone to keep watch,

 but then again 

this beach town has some

rather wealthy people 

who probably do not need my

two cents worth, and anyway 

there are a lot of gulls along the coast 

(I almost wrote our coast, 

but that seems presumptuous,

even tacky) so they seem

to have worked things out

and probably would prefer 

just to be left alone to tend 

to their own gull business.     

 

So  Holy One, you who care 

for the whole ocean as if it is yours, 

which, of course it is, thank you. 

I know we humans have kind of

made a mess of things but we 

do keep trying to stand upright 

and walk on our own two feet, 

just like we have been taught, 

and to use our brains 

for some good purpose. 

I would appreciate 

your tending 

to this gull and her beloved 

because now I have learned 

that gulls mate for life,

not hiding under some small tacky tent, 

but under your wide blue sky,

 and if left to themselves, 

can live a pretty long time.  

Holy One, I am grateful,

which is a nice way to 

start this year.  

I want this poem 

to have a happy ending, 

but I will never know.  

I do know you tend to things

in your own way which 

is usually a mystery to us; 

we are just not that far along 

that we can even understand 

that your happy ending 

just might be different enough

from anything we can conjure up 

just to keep ourselves comfortable

and death free.   

I will say, 

because I cannot help myself, 

that I really liked that

 turkey vulture, and I hope it was able 

to dine in peace on the mola fish

which looks to be a curious

creature, alive or deceased.  

What a neighborhood, Holy One.

What a blessing just to see a glimpse of it 

as we walked by.       

                

 

 image:  Stinson Beach, December 2025